I don't know what to do...

I really don't. I don't know who to turn to, who my friends are. nothing.
I need you. I LOVE you. like, seriously. I can't live without you, but you can obviously live without me. I'm glad were friends. really. i am. friends. But you hardly ever acknowledge me as anything more. I don't know what to do anymore. i NEED more from you. i seriously would die without you. you mean the world to me. How do i get your attention? How do i get you to want me back?
im just gonna give up. you come to me if you want anything. im done.

They should date. LOVE.













SHE HAS A TATTOO ON HER LEFT FOOT!
this i did not know.
umm... so ya. i love it. =D

A year already?

Wow. in just a couple days, its going to have been a year. do you remember how it was? how it happened? cause i do. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember we just got back and we were texting and I remember excactly where I was, what I was wearing, Where I went afterward, and what I was doing. It's insane thinking back now. how different it is now. I remember regretting so much after getting back. about not stopping certain things and doing others. I remember the whole thing so clearly. I remember that that was the most fun i had ever had up there. ever. Do you remember?

Permitt!!! =D

I got my permit tuesday and i drove today. HOW FREAKIN' SCARYY! =O
it was A LOT of fun! =D can't wait to get my driver's liscence!

Volleyball

I LOVE volleyball.
I have decided.
It's gonna be a good year this year.
The team looks AMAZING.



















This is gonna be me. =]

Wow.

Wow. that was like a stab in the heart.
im seriously hurt.
i don't know what to do now.
but we'll see.
your kind of a jerk to me now?
i thought i was just being nice.
i miss you.
you mean a lot to me.
but i guess i don't mean much to you.
whatevs.
we'll see.

Where'd you go?

I miss her so much. She doesn't even seem to notice me anymore? is he really that important that you? that you have to blow off all your friends? i really miss you. we never text anymore. We hardly talk. I just want to know you again. We used to have so much fun. What happened? We were BEST friends for so long? what happened? He doesn't even treat you right. Does it feel like abuse? cause that's sure what it looks like. When you need me, i'll be right here waiting for you.

Driving.

Driving is just about the only thing i am looking forward to in this next year. oh! and Italy! but thats only for a week. Driving though. it's like a little peice of heaven.
Freedom.
Maturity.
I'm so looking forward to growing up. but im sad at the same time. that im just not living today to the fullest, instead im just looking toward the future. Running as fast as i can through this time of my life where i am struggling. But the struggling is where you grow. I just think im not happy now, but i will be in the future. But im scared. scared that it won't get better. that i'll just stay sad. looking forward to all the good things i want to happen. until I get too old where i'm going to start looking to the past too much. which looking forward to something isn't bad. it just can't be your primary focus.
I'm scared.
Driving.
I have to slow down my life. I want to be able to be able to stop when i want to and go faster when i want to. which i think everyone does at atleast one point in their lives. But just slow down Presston. Slow down. Time is racing by you. just be happy. trust in God. He will see you though. Be happy. Stop worrying about the past and the future. you need to just be yourself. you can do it. really. I know the great things you can do! but i know the bad things you can do too.
just trust.
Mindpower.

Driving though. Im really excited! not my primary focus though. Driving. it is the time when my parents won't have to worry about me 24/7 and not being there baby anymore. Im pretty independent already, so i think i'll be fine when im outta here. Driving. I can finally be in a relationship and not feel like a little akward kid. I can commit and feel like a part of it. Driving. I can actually see my friends from school this summer.

Exctied and happy.
Living in the moment.
Driver.
That's Me.

BACKOFF! it's my puzzle!

So. I LOVE PUZZLES. period. They are so relaxing, and give me time to think.
and what I have realized in the time that i've been working on my most recent puzzle, is that i am a very independent person. I like my alone time. Where i can just sit. relax. think.
I like when I can just be alone and sing to myself or whatever. and
doing my puzzle.

I've realized that I really hate asking people for help. I usually try to figure it out on my own, or I will ask someone. But that's only when i'm feeling lazy or totally confused. I like painting, and playing the piano. and
doing my puzzle.

I love being with people! don't get my wrong! I'm not one of those freaks who never come out of their room. I Love going out and talking and having dinner with people or whatever. Or going on vacations and adventures to the mall or Disneyland. going to theatre is soooo much fun! =D but I love
doing my puzzle.

Independent. that's Me.

Choir Retreat '10

The choir retreat this year has been the most touching time in my life. Our choir always looks forward to Worship most, and this year we came wanting God to just touch us, that right there is sooooo overwhelming. God worked in me. I cried for over 5 hours this weekend. God was truly in the room with us. I felt him. I saw pictures racing through my mind of him and angels and hell and demons and the end times and I have been cleansed. The scariest thing for me was when my choir teacher, Mrs. Clark, came over to me while I was worshiping and she put her hand on my heart and laid out all the sin and everything I was thinking right there and then. Ya, I was on my face 2 seconds later. Crying. I was praying, and while I was doing this, I felt the demon literally being pushed out of me, and I saw in my mind it going down, straight to the pit of hell and burning up. I cried for quite a while after that. God has restored me. He has broken the backbone of this sin that was chaining me down and keeping me away from Him. I am restored. The visions i saw, I drew and wrote things I felt in my spirit. They look horrible cause I was crying and shaking and it was dark, but i felt God. I never wanted to leave that night.He is sooo real. No one will EVER be able to take me away from Him. I come back from this retreat with a whole new outlook. God is real.

Listen to: Holy by Matt Gilman and Cory Asbury, just do it.

ReConnections

Disneyland was amazing. I went last thursday with Raquel Westlake, AN AMAZING GIRL! we met at ctg in June 2009, but we didn't really start talking till the end of July when we started doing lights and sound for WWTLISYW. I am soo glad God brought her into my life. She is the best friend anyone could ever have! We kind of grew apart for a while though. But we went to Disneyland last Thursday, just me and her. Katy bailed. We bonded like crazy. She's someone you can go to, in any mood and you'll feel 10x's better 5 minutes into the convo. Well on our way to disneyland was amazing. =] we sang the whole way there! and the whole way back! hahaha! my voice was gone at the end of the day.

We got to disneyland and I got to be the first one to take her to California Adventure EVER! =D that was fun! then we went to disneyland. this whole time, we never had an akward moment. There's not a whole lot of people i could go to disneyland with and not have an akward moment all day. Well she was feeling sick, so we went home. When she dropped me off at my house, she said "Love Ya." I like how she can say "Love ya" and it doesn't have to be akward or sexual like most people would probably take it. Were just good friends. Amazing friends now. and i can honestly say, "I Love Ya Too Raquel."